


Making Good Conversation

by DoreyG



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Bruce has a terrible life, Community: comment_fic, Crack, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 21:24:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5064718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/pseuds/DoreyG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And, yeah, sure. I won't deny that I'm maybe a little... Attached," Tim offers slowly, crosses his arms over his chest and huffs out a long breath as if trying to contain himself. It's good, it's a show that'd hold up to anybody but him, "but that's largely a part of team dynamics, I feel, and is a part that you warned me about. Getting attached is always a risk, yes, but as long as you have it under control it shouldn't be a problem. And I have it under control."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making Good Conversation

"So," he starts carefully, spinning from the console and trying not to look too much like he's dreading every single word that's coming out of his mouth, "you appear to be getting close to the... Clone."

"The clone?" Tim asks. And is that a shift in his features, a slight twitch beneath his eye that betrays a sudden case of nerves? "You mean Kon?"

Tim is good, but he's the best. He smiles a little, that very polite sort of smile that seems to provoke hypochondria in others, and settles back in his chair. He can wait, Poison Ivy isn't due to break out of Arkham for _hours_ yet.

"We're... Friends, yes," Tim says eventually, giving him a slightly pleading look as if he _knows_ what he's doing and couldn't believe that he'd be so cruel, "good friends. I help him with his homework, he flies me places. We're a team."

"Hm."

"And, yeah, sure. I won't deny that I'm maybe a little... Attached," Tim offers slowly, crosses his arms over his chest and huffs out a long breath as if trying to contain himself. It's good, it's a show that'd hold up to anybody but him, "but that's largely a part of team dynamics, I feel, and is a part that you warned me about. Getting attached is always a risk, yes, but as long as you have it under control it shouldn't be a problem. And I have it under control."

"Hm," he repeats. And, yeah, he's being a dick - but he swears that it's for Tim's own good, he only wants to-

"I mean, of course we've made out a few times," Tim blurts, and shifts quickly on his feet - one abortive movement that shows he wants to fidget all over the place, but is far too controlled to do so, "maybe more than a few times, sure. But it's not a problem, I swear, I have it under control. If anything, it's a necessary thing to keep tabs on. I mean, have you seen that boy's tongue?"

He stares for a long second, in mute horror.

"Uh, well, obviously you haven't. _But_ ," Tim coughs, goes bright red. It's like he also realizes the sheer horror of the situation, but just can't stop himself, "it's a tricky thing. Which also explains why we've had to grope each other so many times, in part. I mean, because if his tongue is tricky his _penis_ -"

...Shit.

_Shit_. He unfreezes himself, perhaps a few seconds later than he should've what with the _pure horror_ pressing down on him, and surges to his feet. He has to stop this, before the world crumbles down around him, "Tim."

"-Wow, that could drive a _saint_ to distraction. Which also, for that matter, explains just why I had to _sleep_ with him-" Tim gulps, grinds to a halt, slaps his hand over his mouth as if he fears what else will come spilling out. They stare at each other for a long and silent few seconds, _horrified_.

"...Tim," he repeats eventually, when he's managed to summon up the nerve, "thank you for- for the very detailed report."

"No problem," Tim mutters, words muffled around the block of his hands, "can- can I go now? I think it'll really be best for the universe if I go now."

"Of course," he says, and it's an effort not to let his relief show. He's the Batman, he should probably be above the trauma caused by accidentally hearing about a teenage boy's surprisingly active sex life, "I'll see you tomorrow, at the same time. Oh, and Tim?"

Tim has already bolted for the door. But does, bless him, turn at the last moment with his hands still clapped over his mouth and his eyes wide, "mmph?"

"Let's _never_ speak of this again."


End file.
